Wes vs the Pediatrician

Katie R.

So it was time for his 18 month appointment and in a moment of pure insanity I agreed for him to have a n1.5 hour appointment for some kind of study they were doing, such is the life of a patient at a teaching hospital. 

Of course I had to wake him up from his nap which is always a bad plan, but he was fine by the time we arrived.  Then we went into the room and the nurse told us to get his clothes off so we could do weight, height and head measurements.  Although I heard her say weight, height and head measurements by Wes's reaction I believe he heard her say water boarding, caning and pulling out all his toe nails.  He screamed the entire time and in true Wes formed turned it off the minute she left the room.  Here he is seconds after she left:

So now it's time for the doctor.  We have had this dr a couple times and he is a nice guy although he is a resident and pretty overwhelmed by Wes.  We start out by answering questions and Wes eats goldfish out of the bag.  Now as much as he hates the nurse he loves the doctor.  5 minutes into the apointment he is on the drs lap.  10 minutes in he is wearing the drs stethoscope.  15 minutes in he's eating a snack, sitting on the drs lap, wearing his stethoscope and pulling his nap badge as far out as it can go and snapping it back. 

Finally I get him off his lap and Wes is walking past the diaper bag and immediate begins yelling "amen, amen" which means he wants to eat.  I grab the goldfish which he throws all over the floor.  Next the pack of peanut butter crackers which again are tossed dramatically on the floor.  Finally I realize he sees a white page (a prescription bag I had picked up for myself) and a light bulb goes off that he thinks it is a dunkin donuts munchkin bag.  I calming explain that its medicine and not munchkins to which he now throws himself on the floor, yep the dirty germy hospital floor.  The poor resident looked like his head was going to explode and promptly said "well he looks great." 

Then to top it off the nurse gives him shots followed by a new book and new toothbrush.  He screams until I open the toothbrush and then as I was chatting with the nurse I look over and he's wiping the chairs with his new toothbrush and then putting it back into his mouth.  Seriously?

I have since seen the wonderful, amazing nurse at Andrew's appointment but no sign of Wes's dr.  My guess is he's either still at a bar or he's changed his career to geriatrics.