I Finally Just Listened

Katie R.

As I get ready to travel to Ohio in a whirlwind trip of food, family and presents, I also wanted to take a moment to write about the tragic events that took place last week. 

There are no words for me to express my sorrow for the family, school and community.  The feeling of sadness, helplessness and heartbreak is almost overwhelming and my thoughts and prayers go out to everyone touched by the horrific event.

I didn’t find out about the situation until later in the day after the kids had lunch and I was getting them ready for a nap.   I put both kids to bed and turned on CNN to find out what had occurred and like everyone in America I was heartbroken.  Never has an event happened that I was more affected by and I cried and cried and cried.

Andrew was in his room and it was obvious he wasn’t going to nap.  He was reading books and playing with his stuffed animal and I had the overwhelming urge to go into his room and give him a hug.  When I entered his room my eyes instantly filled with tears and for the first time in his life he saw me cry.  He asked what was wrong and luckily an answer of “mommy is just sad about some kids but you and your friends are fine” was enough for his 3 year old curiosity. 

I was going to give him a quick hug and then go do laundry when I decided that I was just going to lay in bed with him and listen.  No TV, no Ipad, no texts coming in. Just Andrew and I in his room with me listening to everything he said.  Andrew talks… a lot.  Which means that I tune him out… a lot.  However that day I didn’t.  I listened to him say at least 30 times “mommy can I tell you something” and the story that ensued.  I listen to him “read” a book which he made up the words on every page.  I listened to him play with his care bears and Rudolph figurines.  And I listened to him say “I love you too Mommy” when the tears would fill my eyes again, my voice would quiver and I would hug him and tell him how much I loved him. 

Of course after naptime life here went somewhat back to normal or at least for my kids it did and next week we will be in the midst of Christmas chaos.  However, this event has taught me one thing, I need to just listen more.  I believe that I have found my New Year’s Resolution.