I have officially accepted I am "good enough"...

Katie R.

About a month ago as I struggled to find some fruit for lunch boxes, I finally found some raisins I was pretty sure were still edible, so I threw them in and said “good enough”.  A few moments later the kids were cleaning up and I said  “that’s good enough guys”.  Later that night, I had almost finished the laundry and was too tired to put it all away and I sighed and said “good enough.”

Maybe it’s because for the first time since the kids have been born I am working almost full-time.  Or maybe it’s because with weddings and events every single details matters.  Or maybe it’s because I have now been a parent for 5 years.  I’m not certain what the reason is but on the night that I muttered “good enough” at least 3 times, I really started thinking about being a “good enough” being enough. 

I will admit at first I was pretty horrified with the idea.  I had spent 5 years trying really hard to be a great parent and having it all together, or at least trying to look like I had it all together.  And although I failed 99% of the time, I it was something I really worked hard on.

But as I lay in bed thinking about being a “good enough”, I started to realize that I am really ok with that.  And I have to say the rest of the summer has been much better because of my realization.

For example, with Andrew we were so strict with bed and naptime and it was exhausting.  Wes decided this summer he wanted to take naps and fall asleep in our room at night, partly because there is an air conditioner in the room and partly because he’s a pain, and finally I just thought “why do I care?”  He falls asleep with no problem and we just move him if he’s in our way.  He goes to sleep which means I can get caught up on work and get things ready for the next day and that is good enough for me.

Along with the bed times which have been easier this summer than any other year, I realize that there are things I just don’t care about that I have been worrying about for years.  I used to know how much TV they watched or iPad they played and feel guilty if they spent too much time in front of TV/ipad, well being a “good enough” parent means I don’t stress it.  Part of the reason is the kids were in camp ½ the day and they also love being outside, but if they want to come in and watch TV for a while that is fine with me.  And if there is a day when they just want to veg and watch TV, again, the good enough parent is cool with that.

Being “good enough” has not only been for parenting, it’s pretty much my new mantra.  For example, when friends came over, even good friends, I would clean the house for hours to get ready.  Now of course I just make sure it “good enough” and by good enough I mean that there will be laundry by the washer, the toy room may not be cleaned and I will do my best to make sure the kitchen doesn’t have dirty dishes, but no promises. 

This doesn’t mean I don’t care about my house, my kids or my job, it just means I’ve realized the kind of parent that I am and I’m finally ok with it.  So when I see on Pinterest, 4,700 things to do with your kids this summer, I pretty much now accept that I am going to do none of them.  And we may not make gourmet meals, but we have dinner at the pool 4 nights a week, so they’re getting exercise and dinner which in my book is a win.

Once my events and wedding are over in a few weeks and school starts will I go back to trying more?  I can’t answer that but one thing I am certain of is that being a “good enough” parent has made this a pretty good summer.  In fact as I finish writing this I’m done with work, Joe’s on his way home to pick me up and my kids are at an amusement park with their grandparents 2 ½ hours away so we are headed out for happy hour drinks and appetizers... good enough for me.