Ready for Kindergarten

Tom and I were sitting on the couch after putting the boys down for bed the other night.  We had our feet up, TV on and both had tablets on our laps and were unwinding from the day.  We heard the familiar sound of a door knob turning and waited to see who it was.  Of course, it was Colby. As he heads into the bathroom he informs it is for poop but that he can handle it.  Tom and I exchange glances, thinking that this could be interesting.  (Any mom can relate to the wiping issues of a child and we have told Colby this is something he needs to be better about before he starts school because it is not the teachers job to deal with that.) After some time in the bathroom I called out to Colby to see if he needed anything but he informed us he was fine.  Eventually he came out of the bathroom and with a satisfied look on his face declared that he was now ready for Kindergarten and then went back to bed.  Tom and I contained our laughter until he was back in his room.  Who needs school supplies, this kid can wipe his butt so bring on the school year!

Enjoying the last few weeks of summer!

A Love Letter

Their is no easy way to put it...Colby is growing up.  He has continued to grow into this incredibly sweet and kind little man.  As much as I would love to take all the credit so much of it is because of the wonderful preschool program he has been a part of these last 3 years. 

I vividly remember a conversation with my girlfriends 3 years ago in regards to preschool programs.  Most of my friends had been looking around, considering and signing their kids up and I was firm in my stance that Colby wasn't ready for a program yet. I was socializing him, we got out and about and heck he wasn't even talking yet.  My girlfriends and I discussed the pro's and con's of it and we finished our play date and went on our ways.  That very night I relieved the conversation in my head and made a complete 180. I admit it, my mind was completely changed. Colby, my first child, could benefit from 2 days of social interaction, classroom rules and other authoritative adults. I did my research, called a program I was interested in, visited the classroom and had Colby signed up within 2 weeks of that conversation with my girlfriends. 

Colby's preschool program was a great fit for everyone from the start.  Colby had a very difficult time at drop off at the beginning and Vicki, Eileen and Laurel always had a great approach to soothe him and to send me on my way.  I was grateful to know they could handle it and didn't need me (or want me) to linger to make the separation more difficult.  I remember the first time Vicki told me at pick-up that Colby was "un-corporative" that day.   What a great way to say he was bad!  If anyone else had told me my kid was bad I would have been offended but coming from this program it was just another day to learn and become better. 

The next year, with the same teachers, Colby attended 3 days a week.  His confidence grew and his comfort with the teachers was more present.  One day at pick-up I was having a word with a teacher and Colby was pulling on my arm to leave and Eileen just said calmly, "Colby, please don't pull on mom's hand while she is talking" and he did just that (as if that is all it took in my house to make him stop doing something).

His third and final year he attended 4 days a week and enjoyed more attention from a very small class of 6 boys.  I think the small class helped create a tight knit group of students and teachers.  (It also made for the parents to become friends too, a fabulous bonus) Anytime Colby was tired, grumpy or not happy about something all it took was a hug from Laurel to make anything seem better.  She, as well as Eileen and Vicki were always so good about getting down to their level to help them work on expressing their feelings or to get to the route of the problem.

At the end of the school year it was difficult to imagine these women, that have shaped Colby in so many ways, wouldn't be a part of his everyday life anymore. Luckily they have a summer program that I signed Colby up for so it didn't feel like goodbye...yet. Well, last week was goodbye. On Friday I had Colby go give big hugs to the three women in his life that want nothing but the best for him.  I couldn't look any of them in the eye, afraid I would completely break down myself.  I hurried both Colby and Lincoln out and loaded them into the van.  I go to drive away and Colby says, "goodbye school, I'm going to miss you school" to which I say how sweet that is through my tears streaming down my face behind my sunglasses. 

I know, Lincoln will be at that pre-school for 2 more years so I shouldn't be so sad.  But when the experience for Colby and me was so wonderful and provided him so much confidence I can't help but pause and be extremely grateful for the past 3 years and what they have meant to me. 

At his pre-K graduation

Colby heads to Kindergarten in just a few weeks and we couldn't be more excited.  He is ready thanks to Laurel, Eileen and Vicki! With love, a very grateful Katie.

I have officially accepted I am "good enough"...

Katie R.

About a month ago as I struggled to find some fruit for lunch boxes, I finally found some raisins I was pretty sure were still edible, so I threw them in and said “good enough”.  A few moments later the kids were cleaning up and I said  “that’s good enough guys”.  Later that night, I had almost finished the laundry and was too tired to put it all away and I sighed and said “good enough.”

Maybe it’s because for the first time since the kids have been born I am working almost full-time.  Or maybe it’s because with weddings and events every single details matters.  Or maybe it’s because I have now been a parent for 5 years.  I’m not certain what the reason is but on the night that I muttered “good enough” at least 3 times, I really started thinking about being a “good enough” being enough. 

I will admit at first I was pretty horrified with the idea.  I had spent 5 years trying really hard to be a great parent and having it all together, or at least trying to look like I had it all together.  And although I failed 99% of the time, I it was something I really worked hard on.

But as I lay in bed thinking about being a “good enough”, I started to realize that I am really ok with that.  And I have to say the rest of the summer has been much better because of my realization.

For example, with Andrew we were so strict with bed and naptime and it was exhausting.  Wes decided this summer he wanted to take naps and fall asleep in our room at night, partly because there is an air conditioner in the room and partly because he’s a pain, and finally I just thought “why do I care?”  He falls asleep with no problem and we just move him if he’s in our way.  He goes to sleep which means I can get caught up on work and get things ready for the next day and that is good enough for me.

Along with the bed times which have been easier this summer than any other year, I realize that there are things I just don’t care about that I have been worrying about for years.  I used to know how much TV they watched or iPad they played and feel guilty if they spent too much time in front of TV/ipad, well being a “good enough” parent means I don’t stress it.  Part of the reason is the kids were in camp ½ the day and they also love being outside, but if they want to come in and watch TV for a while that is fine with me.  And if there is a day when they just want to veg and watch TV, again, the good enough parent is cool with that.

Being “good enough” has not only been for parenting, it’s pretty much my new mantra.  For example, when friends came over, even good friends, I would clean the house for hours to get ready.  Now of course I just make sure it “good enough” and by good enough I mean that there will be laundry by the washer, the toy room may not be cleaned and I will do my best to make sure the kitchen doesn’t have dirty dishes, but no promises. 

This doesn’t mean I don’t care about my house, my kids or my job, it just means I’ve realized the kind of parent that I am and I’m finally ok with it.  So when I see on Pinterest, 4,700 things to do with your kids this summer, I pretty much now accept that I am going to do none of them.  And we may not make gourmet meals, but we have dinner at the pool 4 nights a week, so they’re getting exercise and dinner which in my book is a win.

Once my events and wedding are over in a few weeks and school starts will I go back to trying more?  I can’t answer that but one thing I am certain of is that being a “good enough” parent has made this a pretty good summer.  In fact as I finish writing this I’m done with work, Joe’s on his way home to pick me up and my kids are at an amusement park with their grandparents 2 ½ hours away so we are headed out for happy hour drinks and appetizers... good enough for me.

Flexible Boy

Last week the family and I were over at the other Katie's house. All the adults were outside enjoying the company and the kids, being well past all of their bedtimes, were chillin in front of the TV watching some kid appropriate television. Attempting to be good parents Joe peeked in on them and reported that some were sitting on the couch, some on a chair and Lincoln was laying on the floor with his legs in the air.  To some that may seem odd but the group of parents just laughed it off because that is just what Lincoln does. He is one of the most flexible children I know.  It amazes all of us, he is a solid boy but loves to stretch and twist himself into all types of positions and then proceeds to stay like that for periods of time.

 He will hold these positions while watching TV, taking a break from a game (like Candy Land) or when he is playing quietly with his toys. It makes my legs feel numb just looking at him!  Ah...to be young!