A Love Letter

Their is no easy way to put it...Colby is growing up.  He has continued to grow into this incredibly sweet and kind little man.  As much as I would love to take all the credit so much of it is because of the wonderful preschool program he has been a part of these last 3 years. 

I vividly remember a conversation with my girlfriends 3 years ago in regards to preschool programs.  Most of my friends had been looking around, considering and signing their kids up and I was firm in my stance that Colby wasn't ready for a program yet. I was socializing him, we got out and about and heck he wasn't even talking yet.  My girlfriends and I discussed the pro's and con's of it and we finished our play date and went on our ways.  That very night I relieved the conversation in my head and made a complete 180. I admit it, my mind was completely changed. Colby, my first child, could benefit from 2 days of social interaction, classroom rules and other authoritative adults. I did my research, called a program I was interested in, visited the classroom and had Colby signed up within 2 weeks of that conversation with my girlfriends. 

Colby's preschool program was a great fit for everyone from the start.  Colby had a very difficult time at drop off at the beginning and Vicki, Eileen and Laurel always had a great approach to soothe him and to send me on my way.  I was grateful to know they could handle it and didn't need me (or want me) to linger to make the separation more difficult.  I remember the first time Vicki told me at pick-up that Colby was "un-corporative" that day.   What a great way to say he was bad!  If anyone else had told me my kid was bad I would have been offended but coming from this program it was just another day to learn and become better. 

The next year, with the same teachers, Colby attended 3 days a week.  His confidence grew and his comfort with the teachers was more present.  One day at pick-up I was having a word with a teacher and Colby was pulling on my arm to leave and Eileen just said calmly, "Colby, please don't pull on mom's hand while she is talking" and he did just that (as if that is all it took in my house to make him stop doing something).

His third and final year he attended 4 days a week and enjoyed more attention from a very small class of 6 boys.  I think the small class helped create a tight knit group of students and teachers.  (It also made for the parents to become friends too, a fabulous bonus) Anytime Colby was tired, grumpy or not happy about something all it took was a hug from Laurel to make anything seem better.  She, as well as Eileen and Vicki were always so good about getting down to their level to help them work on expressing their feelings or to get to the route of the problem.

At the end of the school year it was difficult to imagine these women, that have shaped Colby in so many ways, wouldn't be a part of his everyday life anymore. Luckily they have a summer program that I signed Colby up for so it didn't feel like goodbye...yet. Well, last week was goodbye. On Friday I had Colby go give big hugs to the three women in his life that want nothing but the best for him.  I couldn't look any of them in the eye, afraid I would completely break down myself.  I hurried both Colby and Lincoln out and loaded them into the van.  I go to drive away and Colby says, "goodbye school, I'm going to miss you school" to which I say how sweet that is through my tears streaming down my face behind my sunglasses. 

I know, Lincoln will be at that pre-school for 2 more years so I shouldn't be so sad.  But when the experience for Colby and me was so wonderful and provided him so much confidence I can't help but pause and be extremely grateful for the past 3 years and what they have meant to me. 

At his pre-K graduation

Colby heads to Kindergarten in just a few weeks and we couldn't be more excited.  He is ready thanks to Laurel, Eileen and Vicki! With love, a very grateful Katie.

I have officially accepted I am "good enough"...

Katie R.

About a month ago as I struggled to find some fruit for lunch boxes, I finally found some raisins I was pretty sure were still edible, so I threw them in and said “good enough”.  A few moments later the kids were cleaning up and I said  “that’s good enough guys”.  Later that night, I had almost finished the laundry and was too tired to put it all away and I sighed and said “good enough.”

Maybe it’s because for the first time since the kids have been born I am working almost full-time.  Or maybe it’s because with weddings and events every single details matters.  Or maybe it’s because I have now been a parent for 5 years.  I’m not certain what the reason is but on the night that I muttered “good enough” at least 3 times, I really started thinking about being a “good enough” being enough. 

I will admit at first I was pretty horrified with the idea.  I had spent 5 years trying really hard to be a great parent and having it all together, or at least trying to look like I had it all together.  And although I failed 99% of the time, I it was something I really worked hard on.

But as I lay in bed thinking about being a “good enough”, I started to realize that I am really ok with that.  And I have to say the rest of the summer has been much better because of my realization.

For example, with Andrew we were so strict with bed and naptime and it was exhausting.  Wes decided this summer he wanted to take naps and fall asleep in our room at night, partly because there is an air conditioner in the room and partly because he’s a pain, and finally I just thought “why do I care?”  He falls asleep with no problem and we just move him if he’s in our way.  He goes to sleep which means I can get caught up on work and get things ready for the next day and that is good enough for me.

Along with the bed times which have been easier this summer than any other year, I realize that there are things I just don’t care about that I have been worrying about for years.  I used to know how much TV they watched or iPad they played and feel guilty if they spent too much time in front of TV/ipad, well being a “good enough” parent means I don’t stress it.  Part of the reason is the kids were in camp ½ the day and they also love being outside, but if they want to come in and watch TV for a while that is fine with me.  And if there is a day when they just want to veg and watch TV, again, the good enough parent is cool with that.

Being “good enough” has not only been for parenting, it’s pretty much my new mantra.  For example, when friends came over, even good friends, I would clean the house for hours to get ready.  Now of course I just make sure it “good enough” and by good enough I mean that there will be laundry by the washer, the toy room may not be cleaned and I will do my best to make sure the kitchen doesn’t have dirty dishes, but no promises. 

This doesn’t mean I don’t care about my house, my kids or my job, it just means I’ve realized the kind of parent that I am and I’m finally ok with it.  So when I see on Pinterest, 4,700 things to do with your kids this summer, I pretty much now accept that I am going to do none of them.  And we may not make gourmet meals, but we have dinner at the pool 4 nights a week, so they’re getting exercise and dinner which in my book is a win.

Once my events and wedding are over in a few weeks and school starts will I go back to trying more?  I can’t answer that but one thing I am certain of is that being a “good enough” parent has made this a pretty good summer.  In fact as I finish writing this I’m done with work, Joe’s on his way home to pick me up and my kids are at an amusement park with their grandparents 2 ½ hours away so we are headed out for happy hour drinks and appetizers... good enough for me.

Flexible Boy

Last week the family and I were over at the other Katie's house. All the adults were outside enjoying the company and the kids, being well past all of their bedtimes, were chillin in front of the TV watching some kid appropriate television. Attempting to be good parents Joe peeked in on them and reported that some were sitting on the couch, some on a chair and Lincoln was laying on the floor with his legs in the air.  To some that may seem odd but the group of parents just laughed it off because that is just what Lincoln does. He is one of the most flexible children I know.  It amazes all of us, he is a solid boy but loves to stretch and twist himself into all types of positions and then proceeds to stay like that for periods of time.

 He will hold these positions while watching TV, taking a break from a game (like Candy Land) or when he is playing quietly with his toys. It makes my legs feel numb just looking at him!  Ah...to be young! 

Close Quarters

Spending several weeks on vacations have made the boys closer than ever.  They have always been pals but have become more inseparable because they have had to share close quarters with each other.  Once returning home they decided to continue this closeness and share a bedroom together.  This required a couple of changes to happen, we had to move Colby's full bed downstairs to the guest room and move the furniture in Lincoln's room into Colby's room.  They were, and are, ecstatic with the changes and seem to have no regrets about the decision.

As with any big move, respecting each other's space becomes a factor. For example, Colby has always called out to check  if he can get out of his room in the morning (even with a clock in his room) or called out to us in the night if he needs to use the bathroom (which he has been told he can just go). I was concerned that with his brother in the room with him he would continue to do this and wake Lincoln up even though I had made it very clear that he does not need to call out in the night.

We are two nights into this experiment and so far things have gone well.  Bedtimes have gone alright, Tom and I expected the talking and giggling and the boys finally fell asleep fairly quickly. The first morning I woke up to Colby in my face saying "Mom, do you think it's alright to flush the toilet or do you think it will wake Lincoln up?" I was quite startled but very proud (and tired) all at the same time.  And then last night, again being very startled at first hearing someone in the hallway, Colby got out of his room to use the bathroom.  After telling him for a year he finally does these things on his own so as not to disturb his brother.  He's such a good kid that in the future when he smacks Lincoln in the night to wake him up I'll have a hard time believing his brother but that's what being brothers is all about.

S'mores

Please excuse my absence for the last few weeks. As always the summer is spent relaxing...which means packing, cooking and doing laundry to go away on vacation. I did this in back to back weeks, it was lovely and wonderful but it took its toll on me and the boys.  I could have posted much sooner but Tom and I have started to watch the show Game of Thrones on demand and we are binge watchers so that has also weighed heavily on my absence.  My apologies, so without further ado, let me continue to fill you in on my life....

For the past three years a great group of friends have decided to vacation together.  Of course fabulous times are always had by all but what really caught my attention this year when I downloaded the pictures was the growth in the boys.  They look the same and yet the have grown so much.  The first year we went on vacation Lincoln still had his pacifier and we stuck him in a chair so as not to get too close to the flames when we did s'mores.



2012

2012

And the next year Lincoln upgraded his seat to a tricycle! Colby continued to rock the sideways bite is his own style. 

2013

2013

And this past year we let the kids have a bit more freedom, even getting a good laugh when Tom's marshmallows caught on fire! Again, the changes are subtle but they are maturing into amazing little men.

2014

2014

2014

Vacationing with great friends is a perk to the summer and having wonderful photos to look back on remind me of what fabulous summers the boys and I have.  I'm not ready to let go of summer yet so don't get any ideas New England!

Cousin Love

Happy belated 4th of July.  I hope you and you families had long, wonderful weekends. Tom, the kids and I loaded up the big tan van and headed to Maine with plans to see a wide range of family.

*I did not bring my camera to Maine. I could say that I wanted to really be in the moments and take them all it but the truth is I just forgot it. 

We set up home base at my parents house and had a great dinner Thursday night in and old mill in my hometown that was renovated into a restaurant. It was great to start the trip out with a quiet family dinner, just the 4 of us, for an easy transition into the busy weekend. We, like most of New England, had a rainy 4th but were still able to visit with almost all of Tom's extended family.  It's great to catch up with cousins that we don't see enough of.  Even trapped inside from the rain the kids enjoyed each other's company and the cousins got a chance to laugh together and tell some old stories. The following morning we celebrated the baptism of two of the cousins children (2nd cousins I think, I get so confused with the correct terminology) It was windy from the storm passing out but lovely and was nice to celebrate with the two beautiful little girls. 

The following day, Sunday, we headed out to visit some of my cousins that were vacationing in Maine. Another cousin (and her family) my Aunt, and my sister got the opportunity to all catch up, spend time with one another and see all of our children together. It had been too long since we had seen each other, I hadn't even met one cousin's husband (who was super nice & sweet).  Colby & Lincoln hit it off immediately with their 2nd cousins (or whatever relation they are) and ran around and acted as if parents did not exist. It was wonderful.

2nd Cousins enjoying birthday cupcakes
Photo from my phone (only one I took)
 

I was grateful to get such a great visit in with everyone.  We left and headed for home from there.  The entire car ride home I reminisced about all the great memories I have had with my cousins; 4th of July's in DC, skiing at Sunday River, hot summers on Sebago lake, holding my first baby, Sarah, in my arms, weddings and all the times in the middle.  It was great to make more memories with all of our cousins with promises made to not go as long the next time.

ABC's

It's summertime! Glorious, warm and lazy days have arrived.  We are taking the days in stride, sleeping late, eating fresh fruits and vegetables (from other people's gardens), having water fights and relaxing as much as possible. This is what summer is all about, right? For the most part yes. Colby starts kindergarten in the fall and to help keep what he has learned in preschool fresh in his mind I attempt to make fun activities for him to encourage this. Granted, I'm no homeschool expert, we do our fair share of counting rocks and worms but sometimes nothing beats old fashion flash cards with the ABC's on them.

Flashcards, clothespins and twine hung from the living room across the kitchen was all that was needed to make an ABC adventure.  (Oh, and a dog we were dog sitting for too) I'm sure the clothespins help some motor skills too but I was just looking to prolong the activity and make it fun for both Colby and Lincoln.  If they had a question or got stuck they ran down the hall to Lincoln's room to see the stickers of letters on his bedroom wall.

Colby confidently hung his letters in a row and was quite proud of himself.  Lincoln, like any younger brother, had to do it himself after Colby had completed it. They celebrated each others completion like a victory in a sporting event, running around, clapping and giving pretend trophies. I never said my boys weren't hambones!   It was fun for all and consumed a good morning but tomorrow we will probably put the flashcards away and have a good old water fight! It is summer after all!